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When news broke that a prominent couple had been killed and their son, Nick Reiner, was a person of interest, it brought addiction back into the national conversation. However, parents affected by a child’s addiction are concerned the dialogue will focus on an exceedingly rare act of violence rather than the more widespread risks of the condition.

A Familiar Pain

Ron Grover and his wife, Darlene, have been closely following the news. They were merely familiar with the Reiners by their work, yet they identify deeply: their own son also developed a dependency at 15 to opioids and later heroin, much like Nick Reiner, and spent years cycling through rehabilitation and jail. After a long and painful struggle, their son got sober in July 2010.

“It’s just tragic,” says Grover. “It rips your heart out, because that’s a family torn apart, just like so many other families we know whose loved ones didn’t survive the illness of addiction.”

The Scope of the Crisis

More than two-thirds of Americans report their lives have been touched by addiction—whether through their own use, a family member’s dependency, homelessness due to addiction, or an drug-related emergency leading to medical care or loss, according to recent data.

Approximately one in six Americans, or tens of millions of people, had a drug or alcohol addiction in 2024.

“This can happen to anyone, no matter how rich you are, no matter how disadvantaged you are, no matter how influential you are,” emphasized Grover.

Fear of Stigma

The Reiner story resonated deeply with Greg, who leads a family support group. “We talk a lot about how it’s a condition that affects the whole family,” Greg said. “It has a profound effect on others’ lives.”

However, he is worried that the murders will make people “very wary of anybody who’s struggles with having an addiction, and think that they could become violent at any point in time. And that’s simply inaccurate,” Greg noted.

These “are really crucial discussions to have, since addiction is so widespread in the United States and the rates have consistently risen,” stated an associate professor who studies addiction and the legal system. She pointed to the significant social prejudice surrounding addiction and mental health in the U.S., including the “idea of someone being really a threat and the potential for causing violence.”

She also cautioned against jumping to conclusions about the reported involvement of the son or his condition at the time, noting it is not known whether drugs or mental health issues were recent factors.

“I’m afraid that people are going to take their biased views of addiction and this condition, and fill in the gaps to try to explain what happened,” she said. “Because of his history, the first thing that everyone is talking about is his struggle.”

The Reality of Risk

While addiction can lead to unpredictable behavior, and some substances may increase aggression, a brutal act like a murder of two people is exceptionally rare.

“The vast majority of people with addiction or this illness do not ever show anything remotely close to violent behavior. It’s a real rarity,” the expert explained. “The actual reality is a person is significantly more likely to hurt themselves than anyone else.”

A Parent’s Fear

Both Greg and Grover have lived with fear—not directed at their sons, but for them.

“I’m afraid he’s going to be lost at some point,” Greg said. “If he relapses, it’s eventually going to claim his life. That’s my biggest fear. And my other fear is just being cut off from him.” He described the agonizing decisions parents face, such as setting boundaries and sometimes making the “excruciating” choice that an adult child cannot reside in the family home.

“Our fear then was, every single night you laid your head down, that you could get a phone call or that knock on the door telling you that he was gone forever,” said Grover. Those fears are present “every single day, 365 days a year, for a parent.”

He recounted the harrowing calls: from the hospital saying a son was unconscious; from jail, where a parent might justify behavior by thinking, “ ‘Well, at least he committed theft to support his habit; at least he wasn’t burglarizing the neighbors’ houses.’”

The Loneliness of the Struggle

Parents often battle loneliness—wondering if the addiction stemmed from some parental failure; bearing guilt for a child’s actions; and worrying about the stigma directed at both parent and child.

It is very difficult to understand a family’s ordeal without having been through it, Greg noted. “With addiction, it can change on the spot. You could be content one day and miserable the next... It’s not uncommon for that to happen.”

The Path Forward

Data indicates about 75% of people with addiction are able to become sober.

“Just as you can get over any other type of illness, you can overcome this disease, too. You can heal and be successful,” said Grover. “If you try and you fail, you get up and try again.”

Today, his son is a husband and a father, holds a college degree, and works as a union electrician. Grover reflected on his struggle to “save” his son, realizing it wasn’t possible.

“I can push him into recovery if I want to, but if he doesn’t reach for my hand for help, it’s not going to work,” he said.

Yet, they always told him they cared for him and had faith in him.

“I tell any parent or anybody else that’s supporting someone struggling with drugs: make sure your hand is always, always extended, because you never know when they’ll take it and accept help.”